If you’re a personal and business development nerd like I am, then you have probably read over and over again how important it is to set goals. I struggled with this on a visceral level. I couldn’t get my head around the word: GOALS.
Allow me to explain. I was raised in what some might call unpleasant circumstances. Less than ideal could also be used. Let your mind run wild down the dysfunction rabbit hole and you’ll get a good picture, I imagine. As a consequence of this rearing, from the time I was able to realize what goals were, I had only 2 goals I hoped to achieve in my lifetime: to be safe and to be happy.
I would journal those and send up silent prayers that this would be my lifetime achievement: safety and happiness.
Fast forward to my 51st year on this planet and I am confident that I have achieved those goals. A few years ago and decades of an extra-ordinary journey I get to call my life, I brought those audacious goals to fruition and realized with some awe that I am, indeed, happy and safe. Yes, there have been times over the years where I have felt this before. Those times have been contingent on others – my sister, my former husband. Now, I am certain that safety and happiness are wholly owned by myself.
So, what now? Now, the sky is the limit. (….but is it really?) At any rate, I tried with might to create new goals. The whole idea was panic-inducing. I truly could not get my head around it. Try and try again and when I wrote the word GOALS, I would literally shy away.
I pride myself on being adept at pivoting and reframing, so I decided to look at things from that point of view. I took myself as I would a client and started probing with questions: What do I want to accomplish with the next years of my life? What do I hope to achieve?
BOOOOOMMMMMM! Well, that’s super easy. I can accomplish anything I set my mind to. And just like that, a list was created. Daily, I note a number of things in my life I’m grateful for. Then I write my accomplishments – they are significant, audacious, and positively achievable. There are simply a series of micro-achievements I need to complete to bring these accomplishments to fruition. I write some of those down, too. Immediate or short-term micro-achievements I need to get closer to my accomplishments.
In addition, more than simply writing them down, I have to feel my accomplishments. Say what now? Yes, that’s correct. I have to feel them in order for them to take root. So instead of just writing “Own a home, ” I write “I am so relaxed and safe in the home I own, without mortgage, designed to my own style of comfort and homeyness.” Can you feel the difference there? I surely can. And it’s the feelings I write down with each accomplishment that allows me to believe in the deepest parts of my psyche that I can achieve all of these accomplishments. Just try and stop me.
Now, you might read this and think: semantics. And you’d be correct. Also correct is the fact that this works for me. It’s the simple pivot in perception that I needed to move my life to the next levels of greatness. You may look at my list of accomplishments and shake your head and laugh at how crazy they seem – and to you, I say, get back on your negativity bandwagon and go park it elsewhere. There is no room for negativity on the path to my accomplishments – just carefully crafted, deliberate steps to them.
I share my pivot and approach to ‘goals’ with you because you may struggle with goal-setting as well. Perhaps you simply need to shake off the label and reframe like I did? If you’ve made it this far, I hope you’ve found this useful. Please let me know. This process works for me. It may work for you!
Now, go be All-In! This world is waiting for your audacious accomplishments!
~Blog by Beth Harding